Such Is His Love

 “Lord, if only You would show Yourself to me in a burning bush, then I’d know exactly what You wanted of me and not doubt it!”

“If only You would speak to me audibly, then I’d have enough faith to believe!”

“If only I could see the miracles and have the experiences that the people in the Bible had, then I’d know what You’re telling me and not worry about anything!”

 “My daughter, those people saw and heard and still doubted.”

Wisdom.  That infamous thing we all long for.  We want to know what God wants us to do.  We ask the Lord to show us His will.  And that’s good!  God wants that for us!  My problem is that often I want answers for things that it’s not time for me to know.  In that, I often doubt what God has told me.

Why?

Because I can’t see the whole picture.

Why does that bother me?

Because I want control of me.

I want to make sure God’s plan doesn’t waiver from my own (when it should be the other way around).  So, because I can’t see the whole path, I doubt the step God has called me to take at this time, in this season.  Right now. 

   

So I begin questioning Him.  And saying that I know better.  He’s GOD and I’m saying, “Well, God, You know, if You did things this way (aka my way) wouldn’t it make everything better?  Easier?”  WHAT?!?  I’m basically saying I know what is better for me than the One who created me!  Who am I?  Does the pot ask the potter why he is shaping it the way he is?  Or the painting question the painter as to his choice of color?  And yet, I do it.

I say, “Lord, if You would only tell me exactly what You want in a crazy way, like You did with Moses.  Then I’d understand.”

Then God says, “Moses saw the burning bush, heard Me speak, and still he doubted.  He still didn’t understand why I had called him.  He wanted Me to send another.  Even after what he experienced, he still didn’t trust Me.”

And I say, “Well, that’s true.  But I still think that if You would send an angel to speak to me, like You sent to Zechariah to tell of the birth of John the Baptist.  Then I’d know without a doubt what You are saying to me.”

Then God says, “Zechariah stood in the Holy of Holies and heard the angel prophecy of the coming of John, who would prepare the way for My Son.  He was told of all John would be, what he would do.  Yet he said, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”  He saw and heard the angel and still did not believe.”

And I say, “Okay, valid point.  But how I would love to talk to You face to face!  Like the disciples did when You walked the earth.  I could have conversations with You and see You in front of me.  I know then that I would never doubt what You told me again!”

Then God says, “My precious daughter, did I not say, “It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you?”  The disciples didn’t, couldn’t understand all that I was telling them.  Even though they saw Me walk the earth, they didn’t accept My words.  If I tried to tell them of things to come, of My death, they told me that such talk wasn’t good.  It scared away the crowds.  It made them uncomfortable.  They often attempted to get Me to change My message to suit what they and the crowds wanted to hear.  They walked with Me for three years and still didn’t believe all I said.  Do you not think that I have the best plan for you?  Do you not know that I know My plans for you and that they are good plans?  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you?  I AM living in you!  Is that not enough?”

And I am wrecked.  Wrecked by the truth.  Wrecked by the way it shows my selfishness and how I cling to control.  Wrecked because the truth exposed my pride.  Who am I to question God?  His plan is perfect, and I think I know better.  I think my plans would be better than those of Him who put the earth into motion.  He who knows all the stars by name and every hair on my head. 

How can You put up with me, God?  Me, with my pride and constant struggle for control?  How?

Such is My love for you.

But God, I’ve failed so many times!  I doubt Your plan.  I take my eyes off of You and worry about the things around me.  And that’s just the beginning!  After all I’ve done, how, Lord, HOW can You still love me?

Because I have called you.  I have called You MINE!  You are beautiful, My darling, beautiful in every way.  I see no flaw in you.  It’s not about what you have done, or who you are.  It’s about what I’VE done and who I AM!  I will discipline you, continue to mold you into the image of My Son.  But I do it all out of love.  I love and accept you just as you are, but I love you WAY TOO MUCH to let you stay exactly the same!  Keep your eyes fixed on Me and My unfailing love.  Let My Holy Spirit live in you and listen for His voice.  That is the greatest gift I have given man, a third of ME living in them!  Trust Me, My beloved, trust Me.  My love and mercy endure forever.  I will never fail you!

There are still times when I doubt.  Times when I take my eyes off of Him.  But slowly He is taking away my doubt and teaching me to trust.  In all things, to trust Him.  He is calling me, and you, to take the step He has called us to in this moment in our lives, even if we can’t see the whole path.  To see His faithfulness and know that He will never fail us!  To stop grasping at straws and let the Prince of Peace reign in our hearts, minds, and lives.  To know that no matter what, He is there. Because,

Such is His love for us.