Not A New Commandment

I love 1 John 2:7 because a lot of times, that describes me.  I am one of those people who have very thick heads and it takes some pounding for something to actually penetrate.  I am so grateful that God is slow to anger and abounding in love because most of the time, it takes some serious pounding to get something through to me!  In 1 John 2:7, John says that he is not writing a new commandment, but an old one that they had heard from the beginning.  If you are like me (a little stubborn and thick headed), that thing that God always reminds you of just popped into your head.  (You know it did!)  That thing that you keep coming back to.  You want God to fix it, but it is such a habit, a way of life, for you that it takes some yanking and mind rearrangement to actually make it go away.  You sometimes, like with mine, have to change your whole way of thinking to get rid of it.  I am a get it done, like yesterday, kind of person, so these long processes don’t exactly sit well with me very often.  But I know that God is teaching me through the process, so it is worth it.  I know it’s probably different for you, but this thing for me can be summed up in one word,

TRUST!

I struggle with it so much!  For anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I am an over-analyzer.  I worry and fret about the smallest things.  And honestly, it is tough to break this trait in myself.  I think for as long as I can remember, I have associated worry with care.  If I worried about something or someone, that meant that I cared about that situation or person.  So God is having to "transform me by the renewing of my mind" by changing how I view worry.  Worry does not equal caring.  Worry equals looking into a uncertain situation without acknowledging God's supremacy over it, that He is in control.  

So the other day, I was sitting bored in class (during finals week, in a class that I had already taken my final in and so had absolutely nothing to do) when God began to remind me (again!) not to worry.  Because what was I doing?  Yep, you guessed it.  Worrying!  Over what I have no clue.  But I know I was worrying about something.  As I began to pray about what was on my mind, God painted a picture in my mind.  And this is what I saw.  

I saw Jesus and me, walking down the path of life together.  I was walking where He was leading (which was a huge relief to me because one of my biggest worries is that I am not where God wants me to be).  But there was something wrong with the picture.  Here I was, holding the hand of Almighty God, talking to the Creator of the Universe, living the abundant life that my loving Daddy chose for me, 

but my eyes were not on Him.

I was looking at the path ahead of me.  While I held His hand with one of mine, I was using my other hand to point at things on the path ahead and pull at His arm, questioning something that I saw.  Doubting anything uncertain.  Asking, "Well, what about this?" and, "What if that happens?"

As I said, there is something wrong with this picture.  I am walking and talking with GOD ALMIGHTY and I'm not even LOOKING at Him!  I'm too consumed with the path.  I am focusing on the what instead of on the Who.  I am so worried about what path to take and whether I'm doing what God wants, that I'm missing God Himself!

And so, God shows me more mercy.  He, in His crazy, amazing love for me, decides to tell me once again that I need to trust Him.  In His abundant grace, He reveals to me through this picture what I am doing.  I am walking with Him, but without the joy that comes from looking on His face.  That is the ultimate reward and I am missing it!  Then, with the faithfulness that only He can have, He gently reminds me again.  I hear that still small voice in my heart.

Look at Me.  Don't worry about the path ahead.  Keep your eyes only on Me.  If you keep your eyes fixed on Me, you won't have to look at the path ahead.

Because when you keep your eyes on Me, wherever I am, you will be there too.

I write to you not a new commandment, but one that you have heard from the beginning

Trust Me Beloved.  Fix your eyes on Me and find peace.