Not A New Commandment

I love 1 John 2:7 because a lot of times, that describes me.  I am one of those people who have very thick heads and it takes some pounding for something to actually penetrate.  I am so grateful that God is slow to anger and abounding in love because most of the time, it takes some serious pounding to get something through to me!  In 1 John 2:7, John says that he is not writing a new commandment, but an old one that they had heard from the beginning.  If you are like me (a little stubborn and thick headed), that thing that God always reminds you of just popped into your head.  (You know it did!)  That thing that you keep coming back to.  You want God to fix it, but it is such a habit, a way of life, for you that it takes some yanking and mind rearrangement to actually make it go away.  You sometimes, like with mine, have to change your whole way of thinking to get rid of it.  I am a get it done, like yesterday, kind of person, so these long processes don’t exactly sit well with me very often.  But I know that God is teaching me through the process, so it is worth it.  I know it’s probably different for you, but this thing for me can be summed up in one word,

TRUST!

I struggle with it so much!  For anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I am an over-analyzer.  I worry and fret about the smallest things.  And honestly, it is tough to break this trait in myself.  I think for as long as I can remember, I have associated worry with care.  If I worried about something or someone, that meant that I cared about that situation or person.  So God is having to "transform me by the renewing of my mind" by changing how I view worry.  Worry does not equal caring.  Worry equals looking into a uncertain situation without acknowledging God's supremacy over it, that He is in control.  

So the other day, I was sitting bored in class (during finals week, in a class that I had already taken my final in and so had absolutely nothing to do) when God began to remind me (again!) not to worry.  Because what was I doing?  Yep, you guessed it.  Worrying!  Over what I have no clue.  But I know I was worrying about something.  As I began to pray about what was on my mind, God painted a picture in my mind.  And this is what I saw.  

I saw Jesus and me, walking down the path of life together.  I was walking where He was leading (which was a huge relief to me because one of my biggest worries is that I am not where God wants me to be).  But there was something wrong with the picture.  Here I was, holding the hand of Almighty God, talking to the Creator of the Universe, living the abundant life that my loving Daddy chose for me, 

but my eyes were not on Him.

I was looking at the path ahead of me.  While I held His hand with one of mine, I was using my other hand to point at things on the path ahead and pull at His arm, questioning something that I saw.  Doubting anything uncertain.  Asking, "Well, what about this?" and, "What if that happens?"

As I said, there is something wrong with this picture.  I am walking and talking with GOD ALMIGHTY and I'm not even LOOKING at Him!  I'm too consumed with the path.  I am focusing on the what instead of on the Who.  I am so worried about what path to take and whether I'm doing what God wants, that I'm missing God Himself!

And so, God shows me more mercy.  He, in His crazy, amazing love for me, decides to tell me once again that I need to trust Him.  In His abundant grace, He reveals to me through this picture what I am doing.  I am walking with Him, but without the joy that comes from looking on His face.  That is the ultimate reward and I am missing it!  Then, with the faithfulness that only He can have, He gently reminds me again.  I hear that still small voice in my heart.

Look at Me.  Don't worry about the path ahead.  Keep your eyes only on Me.  If you keep your eyes fixed on Me, you won't have to look at the path ahead.

Because when you keep your eyes on Me, wherever I am, you will be there too.

I write to you not a new commandment, but one that you have heard from the beginning

Trust Me Beloved.  Fix your eyes on Me and find peace. 

Dangerous Loving

Bungee jumping, rock climbing, motocross, sky diving: the love of dare devils.  They feel alive when they are doing something dangerous, something where the outcome in uncertain.  They love to take risks; it gets their adrenaline pumping.  They live for that feeling.  They are the ones who jump off of bridges only attached by a large rubber band, scale monumental heights with only a rope and some pulleys, ski down treacherous slopes without a thought.

I AM NOT one of these people!  I have no desire to ever jump out of a plane and parachute to the ground or ride a dirt bike down a mountain.  Some people love these things, but I am not one of them.  I would much rather play a fun game of softball or hang out with my friends that do anything 

like that. 

But I am called to be a risk taker.

No, God is not telling me to go climb Mount Everest, at least not in the physical sense.  He is calling me to stand up for the person whom no one likes and everyone picks on.  To extend friendship when none is extended in return.  To genuinely care about people and invest in their lives.  To be open and transparent with who I am and what I’m dealing with.  To forgive continually, even if the person is still hurting me.  To share my heart with those people in my life that He has placed there for me to share with.  To show compassion even to the most difficult of people.

He is calling me to love.

Love is risky.  When we allow our feelings to be evident and genuinely care about those around us, we put ourselves at risk.  At risk for heartache, for hurt.  We are all humans, and humans disappoint people.  It is one of the consequences to living in a fallen world.  But even though by loving we run the risk of being let down, we are called to love anyway. 

And this love is not merely a feeling.  Because a lot of times, our feelings get hurt when we love.  Because the love is not returned or we are mocked for our love.  This love that God calls us to is a committed love.  A love that says, “I’m here for the long run, even if I am disappointed, hurt, or mocked.  Because in this committed love the people around me will see Christ.”

The thing is, we can’t love like this on our own.  It’s just not possible.  Human love is flawed and faltering.  To love like this, in all areas of our life, in friendships, in ministry, in marriage, in any relationship, we have to connect to the source.  The source of love.  If we are disconnected from the source, the love will not last.  Because we can’t give what we don’t have.  Disconnected from the source, our love is unsure and spotty at best.  But when we connect to the source, we find that love, crazy, committed love, pours out of us onto other people.  The source is this,

God is love. (1 John 4:8)

Being connected to God (the source of love) does not mean that we will get fuzzy feelings all the time for everyone.  We will still get annoyed, upset, and frustrated.  Being connected to the source means that we are given the power and strength from God to love them anyway.  Because love from the source is a love based on God, who is consistent, instead of on inconsistent people and circumstances.  We are able to love other people consistently because God loves us consistently.  God is the one person whom we love that will never hurt us or abandon us.  We find security in loving Him, so that we can risk loving others. 

Why are we called to love like this?  Why are we asked to lay down our feelings to love someone else?  It doesn’t seem fair to our minds.  Why are we called to this? 

We love because [God] first loved us. (1 John 4:19)   

We love dangerously because that’s how Jesus loves us.  He loves knowing that His heart will hurt because some will reject Him.  That His love will be thrown back in His face.  But He loves anyway.  Why?  Because of that one.  That one who will accept His love with thanksgiving and love Him in return.  That one who will give up everything out of love for Him, just like He did for them.  That one who will know that nothing can separate them from His love and allow that knowledge to rule their lives.  That one who will fall more and more in love with Him every day.  That one who loves to love dangerously.  That one who feels alive when they are loving God and others.  That one who lives to love.

I want to be that one!

I want to be the one who makes Jesus smile because I love Him back.  I want to be the one who leans on Him so that I can love God and others.  I want to be connected to the source.  I want to live leaning on the Lover of My Soul, knowing that His love for me is constant and let that knowledge run my life.  I want to be the one that lets God love for me move me to love like He does, dangerously.  I want to be the one who loves the way Jesus does, knowing that there will be that one who God will touch through me, even if I never see it myself.  I want to be the one who loves even if love isn’t returned, so that God can use me to reach that one.  I want to be the one to lay it all down out of love for my Savior.  I want to be the one who falls more and more in love with Him every day.  I want to be the one who lives a life for God, a life of dangerous loving.  
I want to be the one who lives to love.

Such Is His Love

 “Lord, if only You would show Yourself to me in a burning bush, then I’d know exactly what You wanted of me and not doubt it!”

“If only You would speak to me audibly, then I’d have enough faith to believe!”

“If only I could see the miracles and have the experiences that the people in the Bible had, then I’d know what You’re telling me and not worry about anything!”

 “My daughter, those people saw and heard and still doubted.”

Wisdom.  That infamous thing we all long for.  We want to know what God wants us to do.  We ask the Lord to show us His will.  And that’s good!  God wants that for us!  My problem is that often I want answers for things that it’s not time for me to know.  In that, I often doubt what God has told me.

Why?

Because I can’t see the whole picture.

Why does that bother me?

Because I want control of me.

I want to make sure God’s plan doesn’t waiver from my own (when it should be the other way around).  So, because I can’t see the whole path, I doubt the step God has called me to take at this time, in this season.  Right now. 

   

So I begin questioning Him.  And saying that I know better.  He’s GOD and I’m saying, “Well, God, You know, if You did things this way (aka my way) wouldn’t it make everything better?  Easier?”  WHAT?!?  I’m basically saying I know what is better for me than the One who created me!  Who am I?  Does the pot ask the potter why he is shaping it the way he is?  Or the painting question the painter as to his choice of color?  And yet, I do it.

I say, “Lord, if You would only tell me exactly what You want in a crazy way, like You did with Moses.  Then I’d understand.”

Then God says, “Moses saw the burning bush, heard Me speak, and still he doubted.  He still didn’t understand why I had called him.  He wanted Me to send another.  Even after what he experienced, he still didn’t trust Me.”

And I say, “Well, that’s true.  But I still think that if You would send an angel to speak to me, like You sent to Zechariah to tell of the birth of John the Baptist.  Then I’d know without a doubt what You are saying to me.”

Then God says, “Zechariah stood in the Holy of Holies and heard the angel prophecy of the coming of John, who would prepare the way for My Son.  He was told of all John would be, what he would do.  Yet he said, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”  He saw and heard the angel and still did not believe.”

And I say, “Okay, valid point.  But how I would love to talk to You face to face!  Like the disciples did when You walked the earth.  I could have conversations with You and see You in front of me.  I know then that I would never doubt what You told me again!”

Then God says, “My precious daughter, did I not say, “It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you?”  The disciples didn’t, couldn’t understand all that I was telling them.  Even though they saw Me walk the earth, they didn’t accept My words.  If I tried to tell them of things to come, of My death, they told me that such talk wasn’t good.  It scared away the crowds.  It made them uncomfortable.  They often attempted to get Me to change My message to suit what they and the crowds wanted to hear.  They walked with Me for three years and still didn’t believe all I said.  Do you not think that I have the best plan for you?  Do you not know that I know My plans for you and that they are good plans?  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you?  I AM living in you!  Is that not enough?”

And I am wrecked.  Wrecked by the truth.  Wrecked by the way it shows my selfishness and how I cling to control.  Wrecked because the truth exposed my pride.  Who am I to question God?  His plan is perfect, and I think I know better.  I think my plans would be better than those of Him who put the earth into motion.  He who knows all the stars by name and every hair on my head. 

How can You put up with me, God?  Me, with my pride and constant struggle for control?  How?

Such is My love for you.

But God, I’ve failed so many times!  I doubt Your plan.  I take my eyes off of You and worry about the things around me.  And that’s just the beginning!  After all I’ve done, how, Lord, HOW can You still love me?

Because I have called you.  I have called You MINE!  You are beautiful, My darling, beautiful in every way.  I see no flaw in you.  It’s not about what you have done, or who you are.  It’s about what I’VE done and who I AM!  I will discipline you, continue to mold you into the image of My Son.  But I do it all out of love.  I love and accept you just as you are, but I love you WAY TOO MUCH to let you stay exactly the same!  Keep your eyes fixed on Me and My unfailing love.  Let My Holy Spirit live in you and listen for His voice.  That is the greatest gift I have given man, a third of ME living in them!  Trust Me, My beloved, trust Me.  My love and mercy endure forever.  I will never fail you!

There are still times when I doubt.  Times when I take my eyes off of Him.  But slowly He is taking away my doubt and teaching me to trust.  In all things, to trust Him.  He is calling me, and you, to take the step He has called us to in this moment in our lives, even if we can’t see the whole path.  To see His faithfulness and know that He will never fail us!  To stop grasping at straws and let the Prince of Peace reign in our hearts, minds, and lives.  To know that no matter what, He is there. Because,

Such is His love for us.