Most of the time, when I read that story, I see myself in the place of Paul and Silas. Being persecuted for who they are in Christ, praising Him anyway, and seeing major things happen because of it. And when I read the part about the slave girl's owners getting mad about not making money anymore I think, I can't believe how selfish they're being! God just cast a demon out of this girl and all they're worried about is the money they're losing. When I heard this story read this past Wednesday, God revealed a truth to me that cut me to my core. The owners were mad because their source of income was gone because God did a great work. They're upset because they are now inconvenienced. And often,
I'm just like them.
I get upset because something God is doing inconveniences me, my life, and my plans. When God asks me to minister to someone, I get upset because now I will have to give up some of the things I want to do. He brings along an amazing opportunity for my boyfriend's family to foster children, and my first thought is, how is that going to effect how much I get to see him? I get sick when I think about my reaction to these things. How retched and selfish I am! I am worried about how the spread of God's Kingdom is going to inconvenience me; I should be worried about how my schedule could hinder the spread of His Kingdom!
I wonder how much more God could do through me if I was more willing to sacrifice? If I was willing to lay down my schedule, my desires, my wants, and let Him replace them with His schedule, His desires, His wants? If I allowed His will to become my own? If I opened my eyes enough to see past myself and see the mighty works God is doing in this world? How much more joyful would I be? How much more content? How much more effective? If I was more like Paul and Silas (doing God's work), and less like the owners (so selfish they can't see the miracle in front of them).
God is doing great things in this world, in my life, and in the lives of those around me. And I don't want to miss out on all that He has for me because I was too busy worrying about myself. How much more could He use me if I laid it all down? If my life was less about me and more about Him? If His Kingdom was my first priority? How much more?
Lord, transform me by the renewing of my mind. Wipe away the selfishness in my heart and make me Kingdom minded. Give me Your heart for the lost and dying world. Save me from myself. Make me more like Your Son. You become greater and I become less. Help me die daily to my selfish wants and desires. Let my eyes be fixed on You. Let Your desires become my desires. Let Your will become my will. I praise You that You love me in spite of my selfishness! And I praise You that You won't leave me here. That You will continue to work on my heart, and teach me to live every second for You and in You. I love You, Lord.
Amen
