I love 1 John 2:7 because a lot of times, that describes
me. I am one of those people who have
very thick heads and it takes some pounding for something to actually
penetrate. I am so grateful that God is
slow to anger and abounding in love because most of the time, it takes some
serious pounding to get something through to me! In 1 John 2:7, John says that he is not
writing a new commandment, but an old one that they had heard from the
beginning. If you are like me (a little
stubborn and thick headed), that thing that God always reminds you of just
popped into your head. (You know it
did!) That thing that you keep coming
back to. You want God to fix it, but it
is such a habit, a way of life, for you that it takes some yanking and mind rearrangement
to actually make it go away. You
sometimes, like with mine, have to change your whole way of thinking to get
rid of it. I am a get it done, like
yesterday, kind of person, so these long processes don’t exactly sit well with
me very often. But I know that God is
teaching me through the process, so it is worth it. I know it’s probably different for you, but
this thing for me can be summed up in one word,
TRUST!
I struggle with it so much! For anyone who knows me, they can tell you that I am an over-analyzer. I worry and fret about the smallest things. And honestly, it is tough to break this trait in myself. I think for as long as I can remember, I have associated worry with care. If I worried about something or someone, that meant that I cared about that situation or person. So God is having to "transform me by the renewing of my mind" by changing how I view worry. Worry does not equal caring. Worry equals looking into a uncertain situation without acknowledging God's supremacy over it, that He is in control.
So the other day, I was sitting bored in class (during finals week, in a class that I had already taken my final in and so had absolutely nothing to do) when God began to remind me (again!) not to worry. Because what was I doing? Yep, you guessed it. Worrying! Over what I have no clue. But I know I was worrying about something. As I began to pray about what was on my mind, God painted a picture in my mind. And this is what I saw.
I saw Jesus and me, walking down the path of life
together. I was walking where He was
leading (which was a huge relief to me because one of my biggest worries is
that I am not where God wants me to be).
But there was something wrong with the picture. Here I was, holding the hand of Almighty God,
talking to the Creator of the Universe, living the abundant life that my loving
Daddy chose for me,
but my eyes were not on Him.
I was looking at the path ahead of me. While I held His hand with one of mine, I was
using my other hand to point at things on the path ahead and pull at His arm,
questioning something that I saw.
Doubting anything uncertain.
Asking, "Well, what about this?" and, "What if that
happens?"
As I said, there is something wrong with this picture. I am walking and talking with GOD ALMIGHTY
and I'm not even LOOKING at Him! I'm too
consumed with the path. I am focusing on
the what instead of on the Who. I am so
worried about what path to take and whether I'm doing what God wants, that I'm
missing God Himself!
And so, God shows me more mercy. He, in His crazy, amazing love for me, decides to tell me once again that I need to trust Him. In His abundant grace, He reveals to me through this picture what I am doing. I am walking with Him, but without the joy that comes from looking on His face. That is the ultimate reward and I am missing it! Then, with the faithfulness that only He can have, He gently reminds me again. I hear that still small voice in my heart.
Look at Me. Don't
worry about the path ahead. Keep your
eyes only on Me. If you keep your eyes
fixed on Me, you won't have to look at the path ahead.
Because when you keep your eyes on Me, wherever I am, you
will be there too.
I write to you not a new commandment, but one that you have
heard from the beginning
Trust Me Beloved. Fix
your eyes on Me and find peace.
